Don't Be A Jerk: 3 Basic Violations of Elevator Etiquette

Image Source: Cabcraft.com

I am not the first and won't be the last to gripe about the annoying behavior of others on the elevator, but a flurry of discourteous elevator transgressions yesterday prompts me to pop off now. All I'm asking for is for people to think for just a nanosecond of what message they are sending with their actions.

Violation 1: Unnecessary last-second door diving
I work in a building that has 5 elevators serving 21 floors. Excepting the high rush periods at the beginning and end of the day, you are never more than 5 - 10 seconds away from the next elevator making it to the lobby to pick you up. So, when there are already 6 people in the elevator and the doors are closing, do you really need to lunge in at the last second? Setting aside the fact that it is nearly impossible to execute such a move without looking like a graceless ass, what you are essentially saying to those other 6 people in the elevator is that the 5 seconds you just saved yourself is worth more than the collective 30 - 45 seconds of their time you just wasted. Sure, each individual instance might not be a big deal, but I would suggest that most of these people are serial offenders, repeatedly wasting their colleagues' time in bite size increments. It would be one thing if you were on the way to the most important meeting of your career, or those 5 - 10 seconds could mean the difference between life and death. But we're in advertising, people, you're not on your way to the O.R. And you had time to get the freaking half-drunk Jamba Juice that's in your hand for crying out loud. Get over yourself, please.

Violation 2: the one floor trip
Unless you are
(1) carrying something incredibly heavy [and I'm not sure what that might be - again, we're all in advertising here ... maybe you have 50 copies of a 100-page presentation in your arms?],
(2) very pregnant, or
(3) in a full leg cast
why are you calling the elevator for a one-floor trip? We have stairs. Do you need to slow everyone else down because you're too lazy to take the stairs one flight? Honestly, I personally would say 2 flights is pushing the bounds of good manners, but I'll concede that maybe my POV is more grizzled than most folks.
[Note: see the nice "Keep it up, boy, I'll take a strap to ya" at 3:21 in the video at that link.]

Violation 3: Obnoxiously loud headphones
Listen, hipster, we are all really impressed by your avant garde tastes, and yes, your decision to pump techno at aggressive volumes first thing in the morning does make a Statement. The statement is you're an a-hole. Buy better headphones. Or, if you really are as anti-social as your posturing suggests, take the stairs. No risk of seeing other folks there.