What Will Trigger the Next Revolution? Maybe Irresponsible, Inexcusable & Disgusting Waste by the Wealthy?

Image Source: WSJ.com

I read this article during a flight back from New York last week. I'm not naive, but this was stupefying. Struck me as the kind of thing that we read now in history books about the obnoxious, arrogant behavior of past centuries' 'elite' classes ... right before they lost their heads in the streets.

An excerpt:

"Consider Nelson Peltz. The investor and food magnate's oceanfront estate, called Montsorrel, is among the island's biggest water consumers. His 13.8-acre spread, which combines two properties, used not quite 21 million gallons of water over the past 12 months -- or about 57,000 gallons a day on average -- at a cost of more than $50,000, according to records obtained from the local water utility. That compares with 54,000 gallons a year for an average single-family residence in Palm Beach, says Ken Rearden, assistant city administrator of West Palm Beach. (West Palm Beach supplies Palm Beach's water.)"


Shamefully embarrassing.

This is Truly Terrifying: 'Hell House' - Religous Halloween Funhouses

I saw this pod while Tivo'ing through some Current TV and was just dumbfounded, then terrified. Nothing scares me more than self-righteous zealots who think they know what is best for other people.

The Current pod is currently on air so I cannot embed it here. But I found similar clips on YouTube, including the one below.

Be advised: there is both graphic and generally distasteful material in this clip.



Wikipedia has a short article on this topic. One excerpt in particular hits on one of the most disgusting aspects of this whole business, which is the use of grotesque propaganda on children (watch the videos and you'll see kids who appear to be maybe 10 or 11 years old): "...teaching by instilling the fear of eternal damnation in children and adolescents. Using the concept of hell for moral policing was commented on as being child abuse, since children walk away with nightmares and in some cases, extreme fear."

Dr. Memar's Jackass Botox Ad

I drive by this every day and wonder to myself who is worse. Is it Dr. Memar, the jackass pictured here trying to look majestic, noble and trustworthy in his outdoor billboard hawking unnecessary vanity procedures? Or is it the poor sap who feels he or she needs the services of this clown?

What's the Saddest Thing About Miss Teen South Carolina's TV Debacle?

Image Source: Onion.com

Like most people in the U.S. with a TV, I couldn't avoid the widespread coverage of Caitlin Upton's meltdown during this year's Miss Teen USA broadcast.

Yes, she embarrassed herself. Yes, both the question and her response might well synopsize all that stinks about the current state of education in the U.S. Just another not so subtle reminder that it is only a matter of time until we fulfill Mike Judge's prophecy.

[Note: According to Jeannie Moos of CNN, no 'credible study' could be found to substantiate the stat used in the question. Check out the following link for video of Moos' report, under "dumb moments"; I'd link directly, but don't see how that is possible/easy given CNN's site structure. Also note that MSNBC has a more sympathetic piece about Caitlin that tries to provide readers with a broader sense of who she is.]

But here is a question to both everyone and no one in particular:

What really is the saddest part of all this?

- Is it the fact that some soon to be model / actress / wife of successful alpha male flubbed her speaking part in a non-event and now might be derided by people she doesn't know for a few days?

- Or is it the fact that we're still having beauty pageants in the year 2007? Why are we still having these ludicrous exhibitions of tastelessness anyway? And why are people still watching? "You're pretty - yaaayy."

[Sidenote: If someone hasn't already done a documentary that intersperses clips from beauty pageants, dog shows and livestock judging events, they should. Free idea for any enterprising filmmaker who wants it. Here's the sell: Drop Dead Gorgeous meets Best in Show meets Miss Heifer USA -- but it's all real. Done and done.]

Or, if that's either too radical or too obvious of a question, here's another:

Who does anyone think they are fooling by including in these pageants a portion that solicits intelligent responses and opinions?

Disclaimer: please, anyone who stumbles across this, spare me comments about how many beauty pageant contestants have IQs >130 or have XYZ advanced degrees, etc., etc. I'm certain there are exceptions. Though I would like to believe most attractive, intelligent women realize there are many better things to be doing with their time and abilities than field questions from the likes of Aimee Teegarden and Mario Lopez.

These People Are Horrible: SalesGenie.com

Full disclosure: I work in advertising and fully believe in democratic capitalism, so I absolutely support the right of shallow, cynical hacks to develop and run corrupting, crap ads. But that doesn't mean I'm not disgusted when I see something so grossly manipulating and exploitative as the garbage that Sales Genie is currently airing. These haven't made YouTube yet, but if you are interested, click the "Watch our National TV Commercial" link on their site and judge for yourself. This is just one of a series of just despicable spots using 'adorable toddlers' who deliver lines like the following in a Cindi Brady-like lisp for extra smaltz effect:

"My daddy is a salesman. How much money he makes depends upon how much he sells. Last year he worked WEALLY hard. But he didn't make a lot of money."

I also believe in the karmic principle that those who "sow evil shall reap evil", and the asshats behind the current SaleGenie dreck can't have enough blight befall them for uncorking upon us such a purely rotten ad campaign.

Update: 8/3/07 - I just learned through AdHole that the offending Salesgenie commercial is on YouTube. Or, see it below.

Don't Be A Jerk: 3 Basic Violations of Elevator Etiquette

Image Source: Cabcraft.com

I am not the first and won't be the last to gripe about the annoying behavior of others on the elevator, but a flurry of discourteous elevator transgressions yesterday prompts me to pop off now. All I'm asking for is for people to think for just a nanosecond of what message they are sending with their actions.

Violation 1: Unnecessary last-second door diving
I work in a building that has 5 elevators serving 21 floors. Excepting the high rush periods at the beginning and end of the day, you are never more than 5 - 10 seconds away from the next elevator making it to the lobby to pick you up. So, when there are already 6 people in the elevator and the doors are closing, do you really need to lunge in at the last second? Setting aside the fact that it is nearly impossible to execute such a move without looking like a graceless ass, what you are essentially saying to those other 6 people in the elevator is that the 5 seconds you just saved yourself is worth more than the collective 30 - 45 seconds of their time you just wasted. Sure, each individual instance might not be a big deal, but I would suggest that most of these people are serial offenders, repeatedly wasting their colleagues' time in bite size increments. It would be one thing if you were on the way to the most important meeting of your career, or those 5 - 10 seconds could mean the difference between life and death. But we're in advertising, people, you're not on your way to the O.R. And you had time to get the freaking half-drunk Jamba Juice that's in your hand for crying out loud. Get over yourself, please.

Violation 2: the one floor trip
Unless you are
(1) carrying something incredibly heavy [and I'm not sure what that might be - again, we're all in advertising here ... maybe you have 50 copies of a 100-page presentation in your arms?],
(2) very pregnant, or
(3) in a full leg cast
why are you calling the elevator for a one-floor trip? We have stairs. Do you need to slow everyone else down because you're too lazy to take the stairs one flight? Honestly, I personally would say 2 flights is pushing the bounds of good manners, but I'll concede that maybe my POV is more grizzled than most folks.
[Note: see the nice "Keep it up, boy, I'll take a strap to ya" at 3:21 in the video at that link.]

Violation 3: Obnoxiously loud headphones
Listen, hipster, we are all really impressed by your avant garde tastes, and yes, your decision to pump techno at aggressive volumes first thing in the morning does make a Statement. The statement is you're an a-hole. Buy better headphones. Or, if you really are as anti-social as your posturing suggests, take the stairs. No risk of seeing other folks there.

Why must people throw cigarettes out their windows?

Image Source:Firekills.gov.uk

I was driving behind someone this morning who just threw his cigarette butt into the street without giving it a second thought. I'm sure this happens thousands of times every day without comment. But if you deconstruct it, the act is really saying that s/he who throws the cigarette believes him/herself to be more important than the rest of us who have to deal with the trash. All you have to do is put the butt in your ashtray, then empty your ashtray when you get your car home or in a garage or whatever. But no. That's too inconvenient for me. Too much work, too much of a hassle, whatever. F that. I'll just chuck it out the window and add just a little bit more stink and trash to the environment that everyone else is walking around in. Because the 10 seconds it might take me to properly dispose of the butt is way more important than everyone else's enjoyment of the planet. A-hole. [See also: people who spit on sidewalks].

Originally posted 5/22/07

Another dumb marketing decision - Citibank

For the price of one letter and the 60 seconds of customer service time it would have taken to send the letter, Citibank lost my business. Brilliant.

I have had a Citibank credit card for 10+ years now. And I'm sure it's been profitable for them given the finance charges I've paid over the years. Had recently opened a checking/savings account, too, but either didn't receive or had misplaced the PIN# for it, so I could not use it or sign up for online banking. I asked for another PIN# to be sent to me. Was informed I needed to go into a branch and do it live. There's a branch about 8 blocks from me, and it's open Saturday mornings, but I'd rather not spend time on a Saturday morning visiting a bank branch to get a freaking PIN# so I could use their services.

The front line rep who handled my call was pleasant enough and seemed sympathetic, but she had to go to her supervisor on this one. Obviously this is a big call to make. So, I asked her [quite civilly, too - I wasn't one of those clowns who loses his sh*t to the unempowered CSR] to inform her supervisor of the fact that I did have a longstanding, certainly profitable credit card account with them and that I would in fact just prefer to close my checking account with them than be bothered to go visit a branch on a Saturday morning.

Held the few minutes I was asked to hold. Then was informed that, no, they wouldn't be mailing me a new PIN#.

To ease the blow, the front line rep noted that they've even told people who live 20 miles from a branch that they need to go there live rather than have a new PIN# mailed to them. I appreciate what she was trying to do, but if that's really the case, all that does is further underline how moronic of a policy Citibank has in place. Who made that decision? And who is training their customer service supervisors? Brilliant work on their part.

The story may not end there, either, as I recently learned that my employer's preferred airline is likely to change. My Citibank credit card is a miles card associated with the current airline. Might be a useful time to flip the credit card account to someone else, too, no? Something I really wouldn't have otherwise considered. But, the CSR sup did save the price of that letter she would have spent to send me that PIN# so I could deposit funds with them. So she's got that going for her, which is nice.

Originally posted 5/2/07

Buy less crap? How about spew less crap?

Heard about Buy Less Crap today and checked it out. While it is difficult to argue with the value in giving directly to charities [e.g., The Global Fund] that benefit from the (Product)RED campaign, I think this is just another typical, over-simplified, knee-jerk reaction from radical narcissists who relish any opportunity to illustrate how sensationally clever they can be in skewering the capitalistic bogeyman du jour, never mind the facts of the situation. Any material benefits to The Cause from their grandstanding antics are merely a bonus outcome - the primary goal of their histrionic mewling is to boost their 'F-the-Man' cred at their local co-op grocery store. 'Hey, Gideon - saw your buylesscrap.org site. Really awesome! And have you tried the FairTrade Soy Foot Lotion yet?'

Note to would-be activists: it isn't an either/or proposition, dumbass. While you may not approve of it, the majority of the population still lives outside of The Commune. People still need material goods, so if they are going to buy them anyway, isn't it better that even a small fraction of the proceeds are directed to The Cause, rather than nothing? Would you rather The Cause just not receive those funds? 'No thanks, we cannot accept your donation because we more-altruistic-than-thou types disdain your lifestyle.'

Also something to ponder - if we all retreat to our individual Waldens weaving our own clothing from old newspaper scraps and eating bark, who will generate the income that can fund donations to The Cause?

Originally posted 3/4/07

GMAC Mortgage customer service is a farce

Another item from the tilting-at-windmills department. Below is an email I submitted to GMAC Mortgage after a particularly annoying customer service call. I'm sure it will achieve nothing for me. But venting feels good. And if anyone else sees this and it swings a coin-flip decision re: who they finance a loan with, all the better.

** email copy begins here **

I am extremely disappointed in your customer service. After faxing on January 31, 2007 [as instructed] information regarding a mishandled tax payment, I had not heard back from GMAC today. 28 days later.

So I just called your customer service line where my inquiry was routed to someone whose mastery of the english language leaves something to be desired, which is frustrating. I am not placing a $19.95 order for a Quik-Chop, I am trying to sort through issues regarding my mortgage account. Clear communication is kind of a priority here, no?

But what's worse was her brusque/robotic manner. I am not confident that she truly understood either the importance of the issue I was inquiring about or the details of my situation. And I definitely don't believe she cared about my anxiety whatsoever. When I asked her to fax confirmation of what she was communicating to me regarding my situation being 'all cleared up', she indicated it would be another 3 days before I would receive anything because there are 'work orders' involved. So after waiting 28 days without hearing anything, then having to call myself for a status, I am told matter of factly that there is nothing I can do but wait another 3 days by someone who I am not confident really understands the situation I am facing here.

Net: this has been anything but a positive experience with GMAC and my confidence in GMAC as a whole has taken a big hit as a result of your less than impressive front line personnel. If after waiting another 3 days on this I receive information that does not fully resolve my issue, I will be beside myself with aggravation. Life presents enough inherent aggravations. I am not looking for aggravation amplification from my freaking mortgage company. Please - get your act together regarding customer service. I am begging you.

Originally posted 2/28/07

A plea: Mr./Mrs. Fingers of Flying Fury - please chill out

An open letter to anyone attending a conference anywhere who intends to take running notes with his/her laptop:

Please, please learn how to type with a modicum of respect for your fellow conference goers. I, too, appreciate the convenience and efficiency of taking notes via laptop rather than with pen and paper, so I recognize and understand your motivation. I may even admire your passion for the presented material that so moves you to zealously capture all your thoughts immediately ['Can't wait to share this with the team! This has Implications for us.']. However, can you freaking learn how to type with moderation so that anyone sitting within 20 feet of you doesn't feel like he just walked into an 80's era arcade full of hopped-up teenagers competing in a Defender tournament? Why must you pound your keyboard so vigorously? You're not urgently trying to get yourself into hyperspace, you're taking notes. Chill.



You're killing me. Seriously.

Originally posted 12/16/06

What the hell is wrong with NBC5 Chicago?

I know that taking shots at local news is easy. And it's fair to say that if you're watching local news, you get the content you deserve. That said, I can't resist asking what the hell the producers of NBC5 Chicago's 10 o'clock news were thinking last night. First, does no one there believe that somber stories should be covered with a little dignity? They had Marion Brooks reporting on a murder while wearing a pimp hat.


[Note: I couldn't find an image of Marion sporting the pimp hat in question, but I can show you Marion Brooks and a reasonable facsimile of the pimp hat she had on.]







.




Really? Is it appropriate to dress like you're joining the Road Rules / Real World crew at Hogs & Honeys as soon as you close up shop on this little murder story? Am I the only one who is amazed at how tacky and disrespectful that is? Unbelievable.


Next, is anyone paying any attention to story sequence just in case things are shaking out so that your anchor has to make a ridiculous segue, like say moving from this story about a missing college student for whom the Chicago police are searching the bed of the Chicago river, to this story about a lost parrot. Seriously. A lost parrot. No disrespect to the family who lost their pet bird. I'm sure that isn't easy. But seriously, is it on par with a story where the city is mobilizing dive teams to recover someone's missing and possibly deceased son?
I know the bar is low and my expectations should be lower, yet I still found myself stunned at how moronic that 3 minute sequence was. Congratulations, NBC5, you've outdone yourself.

Originally posted 11/28/06